Men you need to up your A game

Some advice for the brothers courtesy of Bossip.com. Ladies take note if your men are not stepping up to the plate..

1.) Focus, Man – Fellas, put the cell phone down! One thing that is an immediate turn-off is when a man yammers on the phone with his boys during time that is supposed to spent with your lady! A woman’s time with her guy is supposed to be exclusive, period. After the time is spent, she’s good! But don’t giggle on the phone gossiping like girls with your homeboys, save it for when she’s not around, girlie gossip should be done alone. Note: Putting the phone on vibrate and constantly ignoring calls is worse than the chatter, and above all, a douche bag move.

2.) Be Handy – women are such the “I can do it myself” kind, but they really don’t want to. So instead of offering, “do you want me to come over and out your computer desk together?” Tell her, “Oh, so you got desk!? I’m going to come put it together for you, what time works for you?” She can’t say no, and if you finish with a “what you cooking?” You’re being a man and making an offer she can’t refuse. If she does, she’s just not feeling you, move on.

3.) Stay Informed – Fellas, it’s okay to put the joysticks down and read a book every now and again! Pay attention to what women are reading! For instance, nowadays the Steve Harvey bestseller is a conversation piece for so many – the woman you’re taking out could be applying the knowledge from the book to you, and could potentially crush you at your own man game! No bueno. Imagine if you’ve both read the same book? Now, not only are you cute and funny, you’re smart too! Best to be on the same page, literally.

4.) Possess Knightliness – every woman wants that knight in shining armor. Not that you have to be this every day, but at least possess the capacity to do so from time to time. For example, after your date walk her to her car, open the door, close it, kiss her cheek through the window and wait for her to pull off before you make your exit. She’ll feel safe and flattered that you thought enough of her to make sure she’s in one piece when you left her. Give her a call about an hour later to make sure she’s in a safe space and let her know you enjoyed her company and can’t wait to see her again. Be a gentleman to your fullest potential, it never fails!

5.) Give More Than a 1 Word Reply – regardless of if its a text, email or face to face conversation, get involved! Again, it doesn’t have to be everyday or every conversation. Sometimes it takes a little more than a “yeah,” “uh-huh” or “cool” to soothe a woman’s need to be heard. Give more attention to the conversation topics that are especially important to her and be honest and compassionate. She’ll remember these times and know it’s within you to be caring.

6.) Don’t Be a “Yes” Man – it’s okay to give your lady a good firm “no,” and disagree from time to time. Women only like a pushover for so long and she’ll eventually get bored with your compliance, if you’re the type to concede to avoid an argument. It’s healthy for you to tell her “no”occasionally. Although she may not like it, she’ll respect your manhood and fall back. Disagreeing won’t kill her, but will it piss her smooth off? Sure. But she’ll get over it and, once again, respect your manhood and you standing your ground.

Friday Throwback

Ooooh this was my jam back at school way back in 1996. I think I was one of the few girls that knew about A Tribe Called Quest at the time, thanks to MTV and The Box. Admittedly I don't own any Tribe called Quests' albums yet! I know not a good luck; in the mean time enjoy the video above.

P.S What ever happened to Tammy Lucas?!?!?!?!

Vision Board

Viola – I have finally completed my vision board and what a therapeutic process it was. I first came across the idea on Diary of a Fab Black Woman’s Blog; it was then mentioned again at the “I Am My Brand” seminar. Then the pastor at my church talked about your dreams and putting them in plain vision a few weeks back.

A vision board is a visual representation or collage of the things that you want to have, be, or do in your life. I have selected pictures and phrases that will bring about certain feelings, emotions and most importantly a positive response. I.e. a birds eye view of New York, Times Square and bible scriptures to name a few. Since making the board I look at it constantly and now need to make the necessary steps to attain EVERYTHING on my board. The key is tenacity, perseverance, PATIENCE and hard work, here goes!

Yum Yum!

Oh how I love a nice meal and that is exactly what I got over the weekend. It was my home girl’s birthday and we all bopped down to Asia De Cuba. It is located on St Martins Lane near Leicester Square and I suggest you go and give it a whirl. While some items on the menu are a little pricey, you can’t go wrong with a bento box (pictured above). I picked the signature box (me thinks) but the vegetarian option. It included a misou soup, grilled salmon with wasabi sour cream, black bean dumplings (hmm my mouth’s watering thinking about those dumplings), Havana noodles and Thai salad. All this for a mere £10 you can’t really complain. The food was tasty and filling the restaurant’s interior is lush and I will definitely be dining their again.

Would you date an ugly man?

Women have you ever dated an ugly man?!?!? I hate the term UGLY it is so harsh! I would rather say unattractive, like that makes much difference. I just think it sounds a bit nicer than ugly- whoo! I used the picture of Shrek as an example as I didn’t want to offend anybody and he is cute in a troll like way? (side-eye).

I was watching GMTV this morning and one of the guests were saying that women do not go for ugly guys. He even went as far to wear a paper bag over his head to support his statement, for all we know he could have looked like Brad Pitt under there. Anywhoo it got me thinking about the kind of men we all go for. I know many of my girlfriends like the model, pretty boy looks type, but I tend to go for the average looking guy (whatever that is). Plus the fact that I’ve convinced myself that fine men only exist in the states (I really need to let this way of thinking go) but can you honestly say that if Craig Mack stepped to you in a club and offered to buy you a drink your heart would skip a beat, I think not!!!!!!!!!

I know we are not all that shallow that we only date model type men but you still want to be attracted too him right?!?!? Yes it’s all about the personality I get it, and more than likely the guy you spend the rest of your life with, will be some one you least expected. I’m sure we would all rather have a man that treats us like a queen and looks like your average Joe than a Tyson Beckford look alike who treats us like poo right? Or maybe we have succumbed to the fact that good looking men are non-existent, are too much hard work or that women are gonna be constantly trying to push up on him – BACK OFF!!!!!!!!!! I don’t know help a sister out here, what is deemed as ugly anyway?

Birmingham Representing

I am in total awe right now, like seriously!! I have come to my home town, Birmingham for the day to do some work. As BBC Midlands were a little short staffed and so I offered my services. I mean if they are gonna pay my expenses and a full days work, who am I to say no-right?!?!!?

I always get a slight distaste when I return home as it seems nothing has changed, the attitude is a little too laid back and everybody is doing the same thing they were doing when I left 8 years ago, hence the reason I left. However Brum has stepped up its game big time. Firstly there is the newly refurbished Bull Ring which sets the mark for the Midlands, but it’s the Mailbox that has got me. I have never set foot in the building until today despite it being here for at least ten years now???

So I get to work and already I’m like WOW this Mailbox looks kinda hot! I have already planned where I’m going to eat my dinner before I catch the train back down to south lol. However it’s the BBC Building that smashes it, it puts our dusty London building too shame. It’s an open spaced set up, very new and modern. I swear down the building comes like Minority Report/ Matrix/ Japan. There is an American themed diner for where people can sit and have their lunch, what the boom bah? The toilets are better than my bathroom at home. Even the water machine is hi-tech, poor old K-Hart had to ask “errrm excuse me where do I get a cup from please?” The kind old lady says “its okay dear, just press the button and the cup drops out automatically”. WHAT IS THIS?!?!

The studios here have their own automatic camera’s, it’s all manual in London (hang my head in shame). Even down to the computer I’m using is more modern, I’m surprised they don’t have Apple Macs on everybody’s desk. These past few days have reminded me that Birmingham is not all bad, people are friendlier and that my home town can represent. I’m proud to be a Brummie!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't think i would...

but I have fallen in love with my vintage boyfriend slouch jeans. I have a tendency to wear skinnies or straight leg jeans and never envisaged myself in such baggy attire. They made their debut at work today and they went down well! These are my bargain £5.60 jeans from Warehouse that I blogged about on Wednesday. I teamed them up with a TIGHT black vest, gold sandals and a thick belt- BOOM! Simple but effective! I believe that because the jeans are so loose/casual you need to emphasise the top part of your body with a fitted top. I’m feeling adventurous and may try and rock them with a nice pair of heels hmmm...