Monday, 30 November 2009

British Men vs American Men

There's a major difference between American and British men. Anyone who has spent some time in the States will agree with me on this. US men come across so much more confident, fearless, charming and overall groomed. Whilst some if not most UK men are slightly insecure, more reserved and have a fear of rejection. I'm not trying to generalise I'm just going on my own experiences. I've found that men here may want to get to know you a bit better but fear holds them back! Come on brothers life is too short for that ish and you never know the outcome may just be yes!

I read an interesting piece by June Sarpong a few months ago and I agreed on everything she said. Everytime I go to the States I feel so loved, men holler at me to say have a good day, they be calling me chocolate lol, open doors for me, the attention is over whelming but nice (I'm just keeping it real).This did wonders for my confidence and my self esteeem went through the roof. I'm not saying that I need constant attention to feel happy, but everyone wants to feel wanted every now and then. Here in the UK I could go a whole month without a good day from a brother. British men don't generally holler as I think they worry too much about rejection, not all of them but I know a lot of guys who share this way of thinking. It's got me wondering if my future husband will be from this country? I want to have choice's and not settle for the first man that gives me a little bit of attention. Come on ladies you know you've all been guilty of this too.

I don't understand what it is?!?! I think people underestimate the power of confidence. It seems Americans have had this way of thinking instilled since birth. I've known men that have been interested in me but have been too scared to say anything....sigh!!!! I know it can't be easy, as belive me I'm not in a rush to tell a brother I think he's nice. I don't care what year it is, I still believe in the old fashioned values that men should step to a lady first (although I know us women can be hard work). It's so annoying and it's just dry so, so dry! I joke with my friends that you could live in the states for a year and you'd probably be engaged by the end of the 12 months. American men seem to know what they want and just go for it, rejection or not and I'm sure I'm not the only woman who likes this quality in a man. Yes there are British men who share this quality but unfortuantely there is a higher percentage Stateside than here. A penny for your thoughts!


Matilda Egere-Cooper said...

Very well-written Miss Hartley. I could hear your frustration lol

Fab Black Woman said...

Here Here!
Fantastic piece,and I'd be happy toshare more than just a penny!
There is nothing more appealing that a man who knows what he wants and goes straight for it, rejection or not 9be in the form of a date, business, persuing his dream-whatever!)
I think men are supposed to PERSUE, not lay back and take it easy with everything! In fact laziness in general is such a turn-off!
No wonder there's so many women who want to try the role reversal, as for me, that's not my portion I'm sure you agree its far better to wait for the Prince to escort you on his Horse! (lol)

purposeFull said...

Very interesting write up Karen. I concur with a lot of what you said (even as a British born man).

Much has to do with environment and culture. The British culture by nature is much more conservative and it is accepted to 'play oneself down' almost as a false humility.

Britain, almost with pride and contempt, resists the American culture; and its bold demeanour.

When a British man displays too much confidence, he is put back into his box because he is labelled "cocky" or "arrogant".

Its a paradox my sister :o)

Anonymous said...

Interesting post! I don't know much about British men (that's what I was trying to find out when I stumbled upon this post), but I want to share my thought on American men. After reading your post, I realized you were probably writing about African-American men, am I correct? I am a Russian-American woman, and what I have noticed here in the States is that African-American men are much more expressive and chivalrous than white American men. As a native Russian, I am used to men acting in a more traditional way in relationship, making the first move, and doing chivalrous things like opening the door for the lady, saying compliments in public, giving flowers, helping with heavy bags. And in Russia it is totally OK for a man to offer help even to a stranger woman - it is not considered by a woman to be any form of harassment. I like the attention I get in America from African-American and Latino men. When I used to fly a lot, it was always black guys who offered to help me with my luggage (and heck, I liked that!), and never a white guy! Unfortunately, white American men seem to be afraid to make a move :( So, after reading your post, I would say from my experience that white American men are like what you describe British men to be. I think, however, white American men act that way more likely out of fear of harassment suits than out of fear of rejection :(

Anonymous said...

This a case of "basic attitudes". White Americans in bigger cities are more in tune with the corporate culture and are aware of harassment suites, while the African American is clueless of the law and would go all the way to impress a white chic.

Anonymous said...

I also find American men to be alot more helpful and willing to treat a woman. I never once had to pay when I went on dates in America , even though I offered I was refused. Over here I don't think a guy has ever paid for a date, maybe the odd drink , but they don't even offer to pay! I'm not saying that money is everything but if you ask a girl out isn't it courteous to at least offer to pay? It's really the consideration that counts, especially if they know I'm a student and they work full time.

Anonymous said...

Oh my God. I recently just dated a British guy. And man, the fact that he can go for days without initiating conversation is just a pain in the butt. I've grown to believe that if a guy is really into you, he'll text you goodmorning, good day and goodnight...But seems to be a different case with our british brothers. I'm glad you've had the same experience as I. Coz I really like this guy despite his laid-back attitude... ;)

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